Love Lost- One Step Forward

Last week, I had the pleasure of speaking at two events for the Speech Pathology Group. One event was in Fairfield, CA and the other was in Walnut Creek.  Both talks centered around 3 central themes: having a motivated advocate, setting and raising expectations and finding and maximizing resources. Of the 3 themes, the third one is one that I want to talk about in this blog.

This past weekend after I got back from Nor Cal, I received some disappointing news about something that really mattered to me. There is a girl who I really like and was hoping to enter into a romantic relationship with. However, she did not return the feelings and told me over coffee that she met someone else. She did say that she very much values our friendship and that would never change. She is one of the kindest and most caring people I have ever met and I couldn't think of anyone I would want to be with more than her. The fact that she met someone else is something that I have been thinking about nonstop since and was beginning to despair over. Then it occurred to me, this is not the first time I have had doors close on me.

In my presentations, I talk about the summer when I was 12 years old and all the resources that we had gathered and depended on blew apart. That was also a time of great stress and despair. Looking back, though, having all those doors close at once was probably the best thing that could have happened to my family and me. It forced us on to a new path and led us to the answers we had been looking for my whole life. It was after having everything go wrong where we were first introduced to the Koegel Autism Center and I was identified as having Asperger's Syndrome. This made a huge difference in my life. I don’t know that I thought before about the special girl as a resource, but now that there is some separation I clearly see and am grateful for all of the support she gave to me through the years. Just like that difficult summer years ago, I know that this disappointment I experienced this past weekend will eventually lead to new (and maybe more realistic) opportunities.

Rather remaining depressed and giving up any hope of ever finding love, I need to keep expanding my horizons. I know that just sitting in my room watching South Park on weekends is not going to lead me that special woman in my life. Instead, I need to start getting out and meeting people and participating in social activities in my free time. By doing this I have a better chance of finding the woman who is right for me. Resources: when one fails, don't give up! Find the next!